What you are buying. An Official Filing is a one-time purchase (US $4.99) that unlocks the full version of a single certificate — all three findings, the Official Ruling, and a clean high-resolution downloadthat provides, for a single certificate, a clean, watermark-free high-resolution download (PNG and PDF) — the findings and Official Ruling are already included free. It is delivered instantly, in your browser, the moment payment succeeds. There is no subscription and nothing recurring.
All sales are final. Because the product is a digital item delivered immediately and in full at the moment of payment, purchases are generally non-refundable.
But we are fair. If the Bureau charged you but did not deliver — a technical failure, a duplicate charge, or a certificate that never fully unlocked — we will refund you. Email [email protected] and we will make it right.
Bureau Refund Directive §1 — Nature of the Purchase
The Bureau of Minor Sufferings offers a single paid product, the Official Filing, priced at US $4.99. It is a one-time purchase, not a subscription. There are no recurring charges, no membership, no auto-renewal, and no stored payment credentials on the Bureau’s side — payment is processed by our payment provider, Dodo Payments.
The Official Filing unlocks, for one specific certificate, the following: all three Bureau Findings (two of which are sealed in the free preview), the full Official Ruling, and a clean, watermark-free, high-resolution download suitable for printing or sharing.The Official Filing provides, for one specific certificate, a clean, watermark-free, high-resolution download (PNG and PDF) suitable for printing or sharing. All three Bureau Findings and the full Official Ruling are already included free. Delivery is instant and automatic: the moment your payment is confirmed, it is delivered in your own browser. No email, no license key, no waiting, no additional steps.
Bureau Refund Directive §2 — All Sales Are Final
Because the Official Filing is a digital product that is delivered immediately and in full at the moment of payment, and because its entire value is transferred to you the instant it is unlocked, all sales are final and purchases are non-refundable except in the specific circumstances described in Directive §3.
In plain terms: once the Bureau has delivered your unlocked full certificateyour clean high-resolution download, the product has been delivered and consumed. A change of heart about the wording, the tone, the severity score, or the ruling is not, by itself, grounds for a refund — the Bureau generated exactly the novelty document you paid it to generate. (The Bureau does, however, sympathise. The Bureau always sympathises. It simply does not reverse paperwork.)
Bureau Refund Directive §3 — When the Bureau Will Refund You
The Bureau believes a clear refund policy is one that a reasonable person would call fair. Accordingly, the Bureau will issue a full refund in any of the following circumstances:
- Non-delivery. Your payment was processed but the certificate never fully unlocked — for example, the page errored, the browser closed mid-process, or the unlock failed for a technical reason on our side.
- Duplicate or accidental charge. You were charged more than once for the same certificate, or a charge was clearly made in error.
- Unauthorised charge. A charge appears that you did not make or authorise. (We will also help you document it.)
- Material technical defect. The unlocked certificate is corrupted, blank, or the high-resolution download is genuinely unusable, and the Bureau cannot promptly re-issue a working copy.
If any of the above applies, you do not need to argue your case. A short email is enough. The Bureau errs on the side of the Claimant in genuine delivery disputes.
Bureau Refund Directive §4 — How to Request a Refund
Email [email protected] with, if you have it, the case number shown on your certificate (format BMS-YYYY-NNNNN) and the approximate date and time of purchase. This helps the Bureau locate the transaction with our payment provider.
The Bureau aims to acknowledge every refund request within 2–3 business days. Approved refunds are returned to your original payment method by Dodo Payments; the time for the funds to appear depends on your bank or card issuer and is typically 5–10 business days.
Bureau Refund Directive §5 — Chargebacks
If something has gone wrong with your purchase, please contact the Bureau first. Nearly every genuine issue — a failed unlock, a double charge — can be resolved by email faster than a bank dispute, and the Bureau would much rather refund you directly than have you out of pocket while a chargeback is investigated. Opening a dispute without contacting us first simply means everyone waits longer for the same outcome.
Bureau Refund Directive §6 — Nature of the Product (Reminder)
The Official Filing unlocks a satirical novelty document generated by AI for entertainment and social-sharing purposes. It is not a legal, medical, therapeutic, or official government document, and it carries no legal standing. Purchasing an Official Filing does not change this. Full detail is set out in the Bureau’s Terms of Service.
Bureau Refund Directive §7 — Contact
Refund requests, billing questions, and delivery issues: [email protected]
Payments are securely processed by Dodo Payments. The Bureau of Minor Sufferings is not a real government agency, but it handles refunds with complete institutional sincerity — which is more than it can say for the appeals process.